I do crew: Tomoka Christian Church marries eight couples at 10th annual free wedding event

On Friday, June 20, eight local couples said 'I do' at Tomoka Christian Church, joining over 150 other couples that have been married by the church over the past decade in this free annual event.

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Back in March, Nancy Mehler and George White were attending a service at Tomoka Christian Church when an announcement caught their attention.

For the past 10 years, the church has held a free, annual wedding event for couples. The church covers all aspects of the wedding, from the flowers and decorations, to the food and photography. 

Mehler and White have been together for 25 years, but had never married. 

"We just started thinking, 'Maybe in God's eyes, it would be better if we got married,'" Mehler said.

A former Catholic, she never considered marriage to White as a possibility because she had divorced her first husband, and the Catholic church doesn't allow remarriage unless the first is annulled. 

"I was already married for 25 years with three children," Mehler said. "I said, 'We're not going to annul that. In my mind, it couldn't be annulled."

When she brought this to her pastor, he shared that Tomoka Christian Church held a different view — and that if she and White wanted to get married, they would help. 

And they did. On Friday, June 20, Mehler and White, of Ormond Beach, were among eight couples married at Tomoka Christian Church for its annual wedding event.

"It was wonderful," Mehler said. "It's a wonderful experience tat you could live in peace without all of that stress that we've been under for a lot of time."


Note on a napkin

Ten years ago, Christina Moore, director of Assimilation at Tomoka Christian Church, received a note in her mailbox from Putting — a napkin with the words "free weddings" and "let's discuss."

During that discussion, the pastor shared that during his early years in the ministry, a couple had approached him and asked if he would marry them.

Putting refused. The couple was living together, and he told them to live separately for six months and come back to him then, at which point the could discuss marriage. 

Putting never saw the couple again. They couldn't afford to live separately. Putting doesn't know if they ever did get married, or if they left the church altogether.

That had weighed on him over the years.

"He felt guilt and felt that's not grace, and that's not how God loves people," Moore said.

As someone who loves putting big ideas together from scratch, Moore helped make the free wedding event come to reality, and has led its planning every year since. 

The church married 24 couples during the first year's event. Couples go through marital counseling leading up to the wedding day, which has a different theme each year.

This year's eight couples had an enchanted garden themed wedding. Vendors including Justine Knight, of Treats and Sweets Cakery; Rachael Kasie, of Sky Events Unlimited; SES Events LLC; Michael Rollins, Michael's Photography and Video; and makeup and hair stylist Lila Parsons and her team donated their services for free. 

Brides and grooms oftentimes express disbelief that everything is truly free, Moore said. Some ask when they'll receive the bill. 

"Through the years, people have a really hard time accepting this gift," Moore said.

The church has married over 150 couples through this event.


'You just love them'

In addition to Mehler and White, several of the couple's stories stood out to Moore as she planned the event.

One such couple was Mark and Shilynn, who were homeless just a few months ago. One of the members of the church spotted Shilynn, who is pregnant, at Tanger Outlets and the church helped get them get into an apartment and find jobs. They were already legally married prior to the ceremony, because once they found out about the event, the couple went and got a marriage license, and were married at the courthouse.

The church also married Tiffany and Jacob, who are both servers at Outback Steakhouse in Ormond Beach. A few couples from the church regularly frequent the restaurant, and found out that the couple had been wanting to get married for years but couldn't afford a wedding. 

When Moore first met with Mehler about participating in the wedding event, Moore recalled how Mehler's head was down and she sunk into herself.

Moore asked her if she was OK, and Mehler shared her story — her feelings that she wasn't worthy of marriage or this event.

"I was like, 'Oh dear sweet woman, this is for you,'" Moore recalled. "... To not meet judgment here was the freedom that she needed."

For Moore, who was homeless as a child, putting this free wedding event together for couples is a lot of work, but it's "a really beautiful way to love people," she said. 

"I've had brides get married in jeans and T-shirt," Moore said. "We had 75 volunteers that were training a couple weeks ago and I tell them, 'You treat that Cinderella bride the same way you treat the one that's in jeans and a T-shirt, and you just love them."

While many have gone on to become part of their church, that's not the reason they do it, Moore said.

"They can come here and attend this wedding and be a part of it, and never step foot in our building again, but they'll remember how we love them," she said. "They'll remember how we welcomed them, and they'll remember that no matter what, maybe they felt like a misfit today, they were included in a family today, and it was a beautiful picture."


From a spin class to the altar

Mehler and White met in 1998 at a spin class at the Severna Park Racquetball and Fitness Club in Maryland. They started dating in 1999.

Now, 25 years later, Mehler, 72, a retired public school teacher, and White, 73, a retired electrician, continue to attend fitness classes together.

In fact, they go to Gold's Gym for 11 classes every week: Two classes a day Monday through Friday, and one class on Saturdays, which is always a spin class. 

"Two of our instructors at the gym were guests at the wedding, and one even brought her kids," Mehler said.

The only exception to their fitness schedule was their wedding day, as they had family and friends come in from Massachusetts, Maryland and Delaware. 

Mehler's favorite part of the wedding was the ceremony. 

"It made me feel like I was standing there doing the right in the eyes of God, and everybody was standing there watching and it finally felt like you're making it official," she said. "... It was special, made us feel special. We hadn't felt special in a long time."

 

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